My child was not chosen!!

Witnessing your children not being chosen for something they have worked tirelessly to accomplish, is heart wrenching for any mom.

As the tears strolled down my daughter’s face, my heart ached.  My child’s passion, hard work, and dedication to her sport made this situation worse.  She already went through tremendous defeats and persevered through many storms.  And now another new storm! Questions pierced through her mind, “Why wasn’t I chosen compared to her,” “Am I not good enough,” “Do I matter to the team?”

Her pain became my pain.  If you are a mom, I am sure you are nodding in agreement because when our children hurt, we hurt.  Her pain also reminded me of my pain.  I knew it very well!  Not being chosen for a promotion I thought I deserved, A NO from my own children which didn’t make me feel loved, A NO in my ministry which told me “I’m not talented enough.” My multiple no’s and disappointments took me to places of great defeat.  I knew this was a moment I could be a light of influence for my daughter.

Have you had these defeating moments because you were not chosen? Has the disappointment stopped you from pursuing your goals, dreams, and passions?

If so, I hope I can be a voice of encouragement in your soul today.

A poignant lesson I have learned in my world of no’s is to stay vigilant to the voices inside.  As a follower of God, there is an adversary that is rejoicing in your NO!  This is an opportunity for him to flood your mind with lies of “I don’t matter”.  Here is an important piece of scripture to blanket your mind when you feel defeated by your “not chosen” moments.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.  And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

(1 Peter 5:7-10 NIV)

As you stay vigilant to the enemy’s tactics, you also have an opportunity to ask God, “What do you want to teach me”?  He may be applying your “not chosen moment” as preparation to stand firm in your faith. Your Yes may be bigger than you expected, and God knows you need more time to be equipped.  The lessons of God’s grace far outweigh the enemy’s lies.  As you endure the NO moment, you will be surprised by your strength and steadfastness when the YES moment appears.

I desire this perspective so I can be transparent in my own battle of rejection and be a living example to my children when they too are faced with this harsh reality.  The more I practice listening for God’s lessons, truths, and expecting his grace in my no’s, I am not crushed the next time I am not chosen.   My value doesn’t disappear, and I remain certain of God’s love and plan for me.  What a great example to display to our children who are trying to discover who they are and face their own realism.

Dear God I pray for GRACE upon women and children who may feel so defeated by their continued rejections.  Cover them with your deep love and allow them to see your bigger plan.  Help them to stand firm in their faith and live with assurance that today’s no will be a yes in the future. 



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